I’m a long burner. Big time. My attention is not easily caught. I take a very long time to warm up to someone and when I do, I’m in it for the long haul.

I’m also not monogamous.

While you make some good points, the way you have presented your story seems to indicate that for you, identifying as “polyamorous” was a stop on the way to being monogamous with the right person.

I’ve met the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with. We’ve been together for almost a decade. This doesn’t make me any more monogamous.

As you have correctly noted, there is a stigma faced by non-monogamous people in our culture. A big part of the way this stigma is reinforced by the perception that polyamorous people are “spark chasers,” or indecisive people who can’t make up their minds.

I think there are many different ways to be human, and many ways to have relationships. Honesty with yourself and others is the key to successful relationships, no matter what forms they may take.

Artist and historian. PhD student researching religion, material culture, media, and politics. Bylines at The Wire Magazine, Art in America + more.

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