In my original post, when I said it was counterproductive to direct your frustrations at feminists/POCs, this is precisely the kind of commentary I was talking about. If we share a goal, there’s really no need for you to waste your time and mine quibbling with me about my right to use a word which hits home for you personally. Pick your battles, take what resonates with you, and realize that words don’t go away just because you don’t like them.
No matter how level-headed my responses are, if I include even the slightest bit of criticism in my writing, or do not candy-coat my directness in a sufficiently thick layer of honey, I will get accused of being “hostile” by someone. This is a very common experience shared by women who write on the internet. The reason is complex enough to be its own post but it involves our limbic system’s deep, physiologically-rooted subconscious desires to be met with approval by that which we perceive as feminine.
On that note, please know that even as I am being challenging, I bear you no ill will and feel no anger. I’m simply trying to explain a subjective experience you don’t share, which is difficult, but that’s communication. :)